Space

I need time to myself. I haven’t had a moment to myself in almost two weeks. I love you, but fuck this wasn’t the best idea. I need a moments peace and then I want my own time with just me, my books, and my crochet needles. AND THEN SOME TIME WITH MY SISTER BECAUSE OMYGOD. I just want us all to be happy and healthy again. The more I think about it the more I realize that I’ve been sad and anxiety ridden for as long as I can remember. I just never recognized or acknowledged it I guess? Or I’m crazy and over thinking all of it. Fuck if I know. Which is partly why I’m so scared to go to the doctor for it. What if they blow me off? What if how I feel is completely normal and I’m stuck like this? I think that’s what I’m most afraid for. I feel so abnormal and foggy most of the time but what if it is normal, what if it isn’t something that can or needs to be fixed? What if I’m just not a driven or passionate person? What if I just don’t care? That isn’t a way I want to live. If I have to live like that, I’m not sure I want to live at all. 

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