Why am I still stuck on him? Why can’t I move on? Why is this so hard? Why does this hurt so badly? Why do I miss him? Why do I want him to hold me and never let go? Even though I know he’s not over her and they’re fucking again. I know these things and I know he’ll never want me like he wants her, but I pine after him anyway. I know where this road leads, and it’s nowhere good. So why can’t I turn around?
What are you doing to yourself? You know being alone makes you sad; yet, you crave it. You plan out time to be alone. Yes, in small doses it’s good. But what are you doing? You’re literally planning a month long period where you’ll be alone and know absolutely no one. Are you trying to destroy yourself? Make yourself miserable? Do you want to get to that ledge again, do you??
Now…Let’s look at this through those rose tinted glasses of positivity that you like to wear.
Maybe this is all to make yourself become more social and more comfortable in social situations. Maybe you just want to meet new people and try to expand your friend base because, let’s be honest, you don’t have very many and you can’t expect the few you do have to always be there. They have lives and they don’t want to spend all of their time with you. You need to find more people that you’re comfortable with and you need to be happy with just yourself, as well. You’re not such bad company to keep. So keep up that sassy sense of humor and let’s get through this. This, at the very least, being the last 3 weeks. You can do it.
I feel like there is a little that I want to say a lot about, but can’t so I’m just saying a lot about a little that really doesn’t mean much.