Thoughts and things

So I had a thought today. (Shocker, I know) I was thinking, what if I’ve got some kind of awful illness that I don’t consciously know about but subconsciously I know I’m going to die. What if that’s the real reason that I feel so temporary? In reality I feel pretty healthy..I mean aside from the obvious mental issues, but what if that was an actual thing? 

There are plenty of things in life that I’m excited for; but none of those things are guaranteed. Happiness? Love? Success? And besides all that, this world is both astonishingly beautiful and disgustingly awful all at once. Sometimes, it’s hard to see the good over the bad. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I guess I’ll end it with the baby binge I went on tonight. Popcorn. Ice cream. Mac n Cheese. Doesn’t sound like much of a binge, but I wasn’t at all hungry and the only reason I didn’t eat more was because I didn’t have access to much and there were to many people. 

Someone’s always watching. 

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