And in a way, my eating disorder, anxiety and depression tell me what to do. They tell me how I need to be feeling and what to do in order to feel good. I need to eat less. I need to be thin. I’m too fat so I need to be thin and then I’ll feel beter about myself and won’t be so depressed. I won’t feel so much anxiety about talking to people because they’ll like me if I’m thin. They won’t notice my awful, awkward personality if I’m thin, right? WRONG. No matter what weight I’m at, I’m still the same person. I need to learn to love myself.
I hate that these things have so much control over me. I NEED to have my own control over me.