My own personal little rain cloud

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I’ll never understand why my insecurities must follow me everywhere. In everything that I do. I’m constantly questioning myself. I wish I was only insecure about my appearance. But no, I’m one of those lucky bastards who gets to feel insecure 95% of the time of 100% of herself. 

Why would someone want to be my friend? I’m not particularly interesting or funny or nice or anything. I’m nothing special. And yet I have some of the best friends a person could ask for. I really don’t have very many, and when the few that I do have are busy, I feel very very sad and alone. Essentially, I’m waiting for the day that they’ll all leave me. They’re too good for me and everyone else has left at one point or another so why not them too? 

However my two best friends in the entire world are kindof the only reason I’m still a successful member of society. I don’t know how they do it, but they can always bring me back out when I’m swallowed up by my little friend up there^ 

I’m always so scared that they’re going to leave me. Everyone else has. I don’t think I could handle it if that happened. 

Just….I’d fall a part and I feel  pathetic for relying so heavily on these people but I can’t help it. 

So this is to you lovely ladies. Please, never leave me. I know that sounds clingy, and I kinda feel like a bother or dead weight sometimes…but I need you. 

 

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