I’m so strong until I lose the will to do anything. Even staying in bed all day sounds like too much work. Sometimes I just wish I could disappear. It’s not quite suicidal, because no, I’m not strong enough to do that. It’s more that I’m too worn out to have any hope and I just wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole. I feel like a waste of a person. Some would give their right arm to have my life, I realize I’m lucky and privileged but I’m so unhappy. I have a lot given to me, but I’m so damn appreciative of it and I’m working to support myself, it’s just going to take time. I don’t want time. I want it to end. I don’t want to deal with anything anymore. I’m just too much of a coward to do anything about it.